Philosophy of a Black Book.

The past couple days have been interesting. Nothing beyond that. Just interesting in general.

Football Friday was the usual useless school and useless football game. The only good that came of it was someone that visited Friday. Other than that, it was pretty bleak..as before mentioned. I missed the viewing, which I'm more than happy for. No matter how many times people try to convince me, the idea of seeing a dead body is not only morbid, but completely ridiculous. Yes, it's sad that you'll never see them again, but the truth is, whatever you're looking at isn't the person at all. It's an empty shell. Decaying flesh and bone. Nothing more complex than a tree stump. From what I heard, she looked really peaceful, though. So hopefully that house won't be more haunted than it is already. I was slightly annoyed for some reason, but as soon as I got home all was mended and I was able to sleep easy.

Saturday morning I was rushed to LA and we went to St. Kevin's Parish, where I used to go to mass every Sunday with my family. It was almost reminiscent. Only this time there was one less person there. And this time she was in a coffin. Anyway, Rotchel was in the choir, and she's pretty much the same girl that I remember her to be, only this time her hair was to her shoulders. And she was about four inches shorter than me. Which was weird, because she was always so much taller than me when we were little. And even though I haven't spoken to her in a couple years, I could still pinpoint her voice amongst the FOBs in the choir. The priest gave possibly the most philosophical sermon that I have ever heard. See, he had this black appointment book in front of him, and he said that as much as there is black on the outside of the book, there is as much white on the inside of the book. Meaning that although we're dressed in black, Ose is dressed in white, and we have to reflect on the positive of any situation. There is a positive and negative to every situation, and although it isn't as easy to just flip open a book to see the positive, we have to try in order to be fully aware of anything. Straight up Buddhist philosophy right there.

Afterward we went to Forrest Lawn, possibly the most beautiful cemetery that I have ever seen for the burial. It wasn't sad until I saw my real grandma cry, which was possibly the most heartbreaking thing that I've ever seen. And my mind just let loose after that. Just the combination of the loss and heartbreak and emotion that filled Forrest Lawn was unbearable, and I couldn't take it. I wanted to get away, but I instead comforted anyone that needed it. It was the least I could do, right?

That night was Kesterfest, which I almost didn't go to because my mom was bitching, and KC's party was that night. But I went anyway and had a long conversation with a friend. We discussed religion and stars and life in general. And for a second I changed his mind about something..well, I like to think so anyway. The Ride was good. And Ace Bandits was good except for that horrid saxophone player. The last song was by far the best, though. I'm not quite sure why I was so bothered last night. But I was highly annoyed. But as soon as I got home all was mended, and I was back on my high..once again.

My plans fell through today. Which fucking sucks, cause I was looking forward to today..like a lot. But it's okay. We'll do something next week maybe hopefully? Too bad my dad isn't even answering his phone so I can't even ask to go anywhere. Gayyyyyyyyyyy.

Kelsey Rae