Dead Elk.

Today was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I'm not exactly sure where to begin on all that, or to begin at all, so I think I'll just jump right ahead to this afternoon.

My dad showed me pictures that he had taken over the past two weeks. For the most part, they were lovely. There were magnificent red and purple sunsets and orange and yellow sunrises. There were frozen lakes and rivers that just looked so pure..like the shit you'd find in calendars or something. Anyway, the last few pictures were of my dad and an elk that he had shot. It was pretty big..not the biggest, but pretty big. I really hate how people think that hunting is a redneck pastime. Sure, the thought of killing an animal for sport does sound a bit..harsh..but it's really the animal instinct in a person letting loose. It's less cruel than eating a hamburger or anything like that, honestly. After all, hunting is only using reason and logic..as well as some firepower to attain food, which is not any different from how other animals get food.

Maybe I just want to go one day, but am too scared to at risk of losing what I have left of my girl-ness.

Ehh. Anyway. I have to write my talk for Valyermo, and it's really bothering me that I have the most severe writers block..ever. And it's really bothering me that I have no idea what to write about. I could possibly write about my struggle of being something of a lesbian in a household and school that denies that kind of thing, but no matter how hard I try, I can never find the right words to start out with. It has potential to be motivating..somewhat disturbing to some people. But I'm not sure how to put it so that I just don't sound like a douchey fag hag.

On a lighter note, I learned a few new songs on guitar and tomorrow I get to see someone who I miss horribly. Happy happy joy joy.

Kelsey Rae